Bridge Elevation

Have you ever done a push-up and thought wow the epic of time is dissolved, the grandeur of this act pulls "me" apart yet makes whole the buzzing puzzle that blooms?

Yeah, neither have I.

Z: Can you do forty-two bridge elevators (no more, no less) in the fashion that follows?

(By the way, "bridge elevators" are the rather pretentious name I created for what was formerly known as "pushups".)

E: For each repetition, start in a horizontal, arms extended, "bridge" position.

N: The tempo will be, quite arbitrarily, a 2-2-Star.

(2-2-Star means, for each bridge elevator, give two full seconds for the lowering or downward phase, then two full seconds of isometric holding just above the earth at the bottom of the rep, before rising to the original position ably without any regard to time.)

S: Mouth-opening will surely kill any possibility of retaining mid to high body levels of CO2 and is thus strictly prohibited unless you care not about absurd games like this. Oh my.

O: You have 469 seconds to perform what has been outlined specifically, above.

Can you?



I heard that you abhor, or rather love to hate, the simple and yet historically used, "pushup". It's so unfortunate, I think, that people do these haphazardly and also with disgust, because they're, well, just another of many possible something-to-do.

If you can do the game as outlined in the above "Bubboki Dazo", make it harder by wearing a weight vest or with a small child sitting on your back. If it's too hard, then try again later after a few drinks or a few more months of training.

Another variation (harder) would be to perform the bridge elevators on a 3-3-* tempo; you could even go 4-4-* if you're into that sort of thing.

When it says "do forty-two", this means do forty-two. Part of the wildness is keeping track of tempo, nose-breathing, and bridge elevator count: good luck!


A Butter Disclaimer:

This or any other of the Bubboki Dazo assortment, is only going to be "fun", if you are. So keep this in mind as you engage in this or any other of life's seemingly Sisyphus-like endeavors. If something happens during action - either great or disappointing - don't hold me responsible, okay thanks.

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