Squatitation vol: "In The Tub"

I don't think you understand, my friend, squatting is not just something to be done heavily, en masse for a big, strong, beautifully bubbly ass; nor is it only to be trained near maximally for one or two reps to activate potential in a subsequent sprint or leap (PAP).

No. Beyond all that wonderfully specific jazz, squatting is near and dear to darn near most of what constitutes being human, a seemingly necessary transitional movement for worthy treasures of action like sitting, getting back up, investigating the earth, pooping, and musing. In fact, I may go as far as to say that bending the knees and bending the hips in various blends is simply part and parcel with a damn good life.

I won't go into such a preliminary anthem regarding squatting, in future volumes. However, for this one I thought it necessary to properly frame in several adjective-filled lines, the appropriateness of learning to find great pleasure in mere squatting.

Squatitation, Volume 1: "In The Tub"

Z: Stand with feet about as wide as they could be if you were standing in a typical hotel tub basin.

E: Squat as comfortably as you can JUST ONCE to a depth that is so easy you could have done it a hundred times (but don't do it a single time more than once). Offer the gift of your attention curiously to the hips, legs, ankles, quads, butt, etc., as you slowly squat this one squat.

N: Stand and relax. If you're really in the shower tub, then let the warm water drill your body and feel the wet for a while. After a break, with your feet about the same distance apart and keeping them flat on the ground, bend your hips and knees to the point that you can place your hands flat on the ground while doing so. Make this a comfortable happening. Try placing your hands flat, in all kinds of different spots on the ground, all while staying in this general position. Pretend that your hands are made of kitchen cloth and that you are softly, easily moving them from place to place (in front of your feet, to the side of your feet, or between them). Try reaching or placing your hands into even "crazy" positions near or on the ground. At the point that you're feeling tired, for fuck's sake you need to have stood back up several seconds ago. This isn't a war, it's a slow-moving, no-where-in-the-world-I'd-rather-be dance.

S: When you are feeling the ground with your hands and watching intently everything that in your mind's eye you can sense, while squatting, it is totally okay for you to feel as if to squat like this is all you ever needed of life. Make it comfortably possible if it is hard to do in the first place. Make it easy and fun if it is at first hard. Make it elegant and poetic if it is at first easy. Throw numbers, labels, and any such other "judgments" to hell. Let the brain make its own sense of this kind of wonder-filled squatting.

O: Squatitate like what was mentioned above. Rest. Squatitate again like that but newly. Rest. Squatitate again. Rest. On and on, until just determinedly done with it! Then, just as you did at the outset, try squatting (just a regular old "squat"), and see if it is somehow of a different quality than when you started (different depth, different level of ease, different sensibility). Don't judge; just notice.



Squatitation is simply the self-directed learning as habit to find pleasure in and around the invariably many possible "squatting" positions; tapping into the dope of movement, through the window of easy, sensation-filled, exploration of... the squat.

The slower you move during squatitation, and the easier you move, the more useful information may be fondly received by the brain.

Any form of squatitation, like this one, can be done at any time, but squatitation may be particularly well felt after a long car ride, following a session of heavy deadlifts, or upon completion of the latest episode of "On The Back Of A Tiger".

What was offered above, is a mere possibility, something that has been done before in some way. The ways of squatitation, however, are as infinite as you can conjure them up.


A Butter Disclaimer:

There are as many ways to squatitate as there are stars in the sky on a clear night. If the one listed above does not suit you, find a way that does! This whole squatitation thing isn't rocket science. Yet it is quite cool, that when offering new, interesting, and/or pleasing information to the nervous system, the brain will often quite unreservedly welcome new freedoms of dare I say sensuous movement. All potential that is unlocked is to your credit in giving yourself time and attention of experimentation. Likewise, anything that is done fast, haphazardly, or in otherwise injurious ways, is blamable on you and you alone.

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